Good Show Sir

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Well I am thinking, man in miniskirt stands in the background with a very large sword. Then we’ll have a man standing in the foreground thrusting his sword from his pelvis as he furiously… well. Lets just say he looks furious, the destroyed viewers’ minds will do the rest.

(Average: 8.57 out of 10)

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Jen comments: I was going to talk about his lack of spacesuit, or his overabundance of cleavage, or the protruding rock in space. Then I noticed that one of the strange ghost-images was smoking a cigar, and all words failed me.

Thanks to Jen! Good Find!

(Average: 8.06 out of 10)

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NoiselessPenguin Comments: I tried to make a list of what’s wrong with this cover, and stopped when I realised: EVERYTHING.

Thanks to NoiselessPenguin, I’ve never laughed so much!

(Average: 8.60 out of 10)

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What if we go for something that’s kind of a cross between art and an eighties music video? We’ll have flaming eye balls and some women with retro make-up playing with her magical sticks. Then just pack any text at the top and if we can, make it like an ancient scroll banner. Classy.

(Average: 8.02 out of 10)

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So I just read from the list on this sheet? Alright then, terrible fonts, realistic guys doing manly stuff and pulling awkward faces, and a futuristic city. Might I add something of my own? Why don’t we credit only the editors and none of the authors? …You’re promoting me to management?! OHHH yeaaah!

(Average: 6.21 out of 10)

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Chess? I’m sure that’s interesting and all but that gives me nothing to work with. No wait.. it does. Pink! Pink everything up, go for the windowed look, and make sure there are lots of things blurred slightly by the light. Maybe they’ll miss out on the chess part completely!

(Average: 5.30 out of 10)

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OH man, do I have a bad hangover! I need something soothing, like a half naked teenager holding a guitar and a bit of blood trickling from his mouth. His hair slicked back, his skin pale like that of a… vampire! That’s right, I did just suggest it: a vampire guitarist! Uh-oh, I’m going to be sick.

(Average: 8.49 out of 10)

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Naked people? You’re right, we can’t have two yellow glowing buck-naked people standing on some far away planet, with the man pointing upwards towards some awful green moon that takes up 80% of the cover. Oh I know, cover their jibblets with some storks. And we’re sorted!

Happy St. Patricks day! – Good Show Sir

(Average: 7.97 out of 10)

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Eighties cartoons are just fantastic, aren’t they. Wait a second… What if we go for that eighties look? Musclebound guy wearing strange straps which have no benefit and gold bracelets. Holding aloft his magic glowing scepter. No one is going to forget this cover anytime soon!

(Average: 7.95 out of 10)

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A naked man wrestles a lion man – who is wearing a speedo I should point out – on top of a mound of fire. Yes, I did just say that out loud. And I want a huge snake in there, with a collar. And I do mean snake, that’s not a euphemism, but then again nothing to stop us from putting some ass on there too.

(Average: 8.62 out of 10)

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