Jessie Comments: This cover is so atrocious that every time I go to read it, I just can’t. It’s definitely among the top three worst covers I’ve ever seen.
Published 1995
That is epic. Simply epic! Thanks to Jessie!
(Average: 6.68 out of 10)
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Well after CSA’s comments yesterday with Mr Ellison I noted he said this, “We should post a pic of the Bible tomorrow and see if Jesus posts within 24hours.”
I decided to take him up on that suggestion with this, sent into me about a year ago. And to Mr Ellison, I sent CSA to bed last night without super and I didn’t even read him his nightly install of Harry Potter verses Terminator. Thanks for commenting!
A real cover will be posted later!
Good Show Sir, Good Sir.
(Average: 6.88 out of 10)Loading...
Giles Comments: I love the Taltos novels, but these covers actually stopped me buying the books several times – they’re so cheesy. True, the artist gets some credit for getting the jhereg (the winged reptile) approximately right, but that doesn’t really offset the general awfulness.
Tache-tastic! Thanks to Giles!
(Average: 8.16 out of 10)Loading...
Eron comments: This cover isn’t really funny. The art isn’t even particularly bad. But a warning to anyone who has ever even had the passing notion to take a graphic design class: do not look at this cover, you will get a rage-migrane for days. The layout is so shockingly poor and amateur that the thought that someone got paid for this, not beaten in a alley, just plain makes me want to drink whiskey and punch random objects!
My eyes…my eyes! Thanks to Eron!
(Average: 4.83 out of 10)Loading...
Richard’s Art Direction: Ok, I want the devil playing chess on a life-size board with warriors from different periods of history. Don’t forget to throw in a few other random characters, at least one man must clad in leather and a scarf and find a spot for a woman in a bathing suit with a parasol. Then make it from the perspective of an opposing chess piece. Yeah, those should all come together nicely.
Excellent! Thanks to Richard!
(Average: 7.89 out of 10)Loading...
Well it’s reached that time again were here in the UK we are blessed with bank holidays! So for those like myself who will be relaxing with an extra long weekend, here are some honourable mentions.
These covers break our explicit and hard kept rules, which are enforced with an iron fist. These are part of a franchise (this time of adventure choice novels), but nonetheless each of them sports an excellent cover so I hope you enjoy them.
Also just to say thanks to everyone who has been sending me in covers! We’ll slowly get through them all so keep an eye out and I promise they will appear at some stage.
Have a great weekend for those benefiting from it!
To face the evil rabbit turn to page 8
To run away turn to page 57
(Average: 6.27 out of 10)Loading...
Eron Comments: While my girlfriend was like “Hey! I own that book!” it’s pretty hard to argue with a half-naked man fencing an immensely bored looking black unicorn. Also, while I am assured by said girlfriend that it has something to do with the story, the man’s blue hat is epic.
Leo Comments: If I were to sword fight with a unicorn, I would probably have my shirt off too.
Many thanks to Eron and Leo who both sent this in!
(Average: 8.19 out of 10)Loading...
Harry Comments: According to the author, this cover was commissioned for another book but somehow ended up on hers. It’s very loosely appropriate: there is a sword, and there is a hero, but he is quite explicitly gay.
Superb! Thanks Harry!
(Average: 7.68 out of 10)Loading...
These collections of books were submitted by Eron Rauch. Thanks to Eron for making my day full of Icelandic volcano ash that little bit easier! Check out Eron’s site www.eronrauch.com which shows off some of his great photography, some of it also brilliantly nerdy!
Eron Comments: The first of three in this series. I mean, how else do I explain it more than the title “Camelot in Orbit”, except I don’t really understand logic of the title, since they seem to be on another planet. I guess technically that planets are in orbit, but that’s rather redundant. Also, King Arthur seems to be riding a beaked dinosaur that is so pathetic that He-Man would be caught near it. I mentioned that before right? A fecking armored dinosaur.
Eron Comments: The second in the series, I think, I mean it’s hard for me to care really, but this cover is passably bad until you notice the creepy-as-sin inbred ewok/mogwai knock-off sitting just to the bottom left of the girl. Staring. Into your soul with hollow black eyes. Seriously the stuff of nightmares.
Eron Comments: The third in this utterly original series. Which features “Magick” with the added “k” which must mean serious fantasy is about to be had! In addition, we get a phenomenal rendering of the back of some random knight and a severely constipated dragon trying desperately to crap himself in terror at the War of the Worlds spaceship blowing the hell our of it’s castle with a laser that comes from nowhere.
(Average: 7.84 out of 10)Loading...
Well I am thinking, man in miniskirt stands in the background with a very large sword. Then we’ll have a man standing in the foreground thrusting his sword from his pelvis as he furiously… well. Lets just say he looks furious, the destroyed viewers’ minds will do the rest.
(Average: 8.57 out of 10)Loading...
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