Good Show Sir

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Eron comments: This cover isn’t really funny. The art isn’t even particularly bad. But a warning to anyone who has ever even had the passing notion to take a graphic design class: do not look at this cover, you will get a rage-migrane for days. The layout is so shockingly poor and amateur that the thought that someone got paid for this, not beaten in a alley, just plain makes me want to drink whiskey and punch random objects!

My eyes…my eyes! Thanks to Eron!

(Average: 4.83 out of 10)

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Hex Comments: The guy on the left is a sort of expert undercover first contact agent, whose job is to alter the course of developing cultures on newly-discovered worlds to suit the needs of Earth. How he manages to do it while being chafed by that jockstrap I will never understand. Sometimes I gaze at the Yeti in a jumper while I try to figure it out.

Incidentally, this book is spattered with grimly bad black and white illustrations that completely contradict the style of the cover. Nice work, Ace!

Excellent! Thanks Hex!

(Average: 7.27 out of 10)

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Richard’s Art Direction: Ok, I want the devil playing chess on a life-size board with warriors from different periods of history. Don’t forget to throw in a few other random characters, at least one man must clad in leather and a scarf and find a spot for a woman in a bathing suit with a parasol. Then make it from the perspective of an opposing chess piece. Yeah, those should all come together nicely.

Excellent! Thanks to Richard!

(Average: 8.10 out of 10)

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NoiselessPenguin comments: Nothing says ‘vampire’ better than tomato ketchup squirted onto an ugly grey wall.

Wow… Thanks to NoiselessPenguin!

(Average: 8.60 out of 10)

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Jeff’s Art Direction: First off, what do you think of when I say “Dreams of Steel?” Did you immediately think of a partially leather-clad dagger wielding S&M addict conjuring a pig-dog-reptile thing from out of a rainbow? You did!? Oh, and I guess we better stick something on the cover relating to the story… like a Black Company shield on the pillar. Perfect!

Amazing! Thanks Jeff!

(Average: 8.00 out of 10)

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Don’s Art Direction: Decapitated heads on strings gazing soulfully at each other while their occipital regions morph into Wookiees. Oh, and guess you’d better put some flying saucers in there, since they’re in the title of this 1930s pulp novella that we’re trying to pass off as a modern 1970s novel.

Freaky. Thanks to Don!

(Average: 8.48 out of 10)

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Well it’s reached that time again were here in the UK we are blessed with bank holidays! So for those like myself who will be relaxing with an extra long weekend, here are some honourable mentions.

These covers break our explicit and hard kept rules, which are enforced with an iron fist. These are part of a franchise (this time of adventure choice novels), but nonetheless each of them sports an excellent cover so I hope you enjoy them.

Also just to say thanks to everyone who has been sending me in covers! We’ll slowly get through them all so keep an eye out and I promise they will appear at some stage.

Have a great weekend for those benefiting from it!

To face the evil rabbit turn to page 8
To run away turn to page 57

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(Average: 6.39 out of 10)

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Phil’s Art Direction: That’s the Bradbury story about an android grandmother, isn’t it? A sweet, family tale? Right, so let’s have either a muscle man or a horse on the cover. Better yet, a muscle man who IS a horse. And so ripped, that even his muscles have muscle men on them. On a wraparound cover.
Published in 1972

Outstanding! Good Show Phil!

(Average: 9.25 out of 10)

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Ouranou Comments: Cat people.

It sure is, it sure is! Cheers to Ouranou!

(Average: 7.02 out of 10)

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Larry Comments: OK, this doesn’t follow The Rules, but it’s me, the actual artst, giving you a sneak peek at my upcoming disaster. The art direction for this book was LITERALLY: A Black Helicopter versus a Black Locomotive, at night. It’s for the upcoming Baen (No really try to look surprised) book WRITTEN IN TIME.

You might remember Larry’s work from this cover!

To which he has responded: I agree with when I was gigged here at GSS for the Sceptere’d Isle cover. Yes that WAS a gamer pal with a costume. Sometimes I look back at stuff I have done and wonder, holy crap, what was I thinking?

He also says something we whole heartily agree with here, “Misty (Mercedes Lackey) and I have a life philosophy that embraces the humor in all things. As we put it in an interview not long ago, to fully respect something you must acknowledge that all things have an element of the absurd. If you treat something as wholly serious, you’re not respecting its entirety, since you are trimming off and discarding the silly side of it—in other words, to fully love something you must also make fun of it.”

Thanks to Larry for sending this all in and might I add, is a jolly nice bloke, as we would say here. Check out his website: www.gryphonking.com

Good Show Sir, Good Show!

(Average: 4.83 out of 10)

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