Mar 15
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Look, I’m all for drawing yourself on the cover – but it comes at a price. A translucent alien head staring at the reader, some lightning on the hills and (my forte) flying avocados! And I really mean avocados with pink wings. With that all there, you can just draw how you feel.
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Tagged with: aliens • Danny Flynn • font problems • Gollancz Books • lightning • Paul Voermans • strange creature • WTF
Mar 12
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A naked man wrestles a lion man – who is wearing a speedo I should point out – on top of a mound of fire. Yes, I did just say that out loud. And I want a huge snake in there, with a collar. And I do mean snake, that’s not a euphemism, but then again nothing to stop us from putting some ass on there too.
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Tagged with: anthropomorphism • Arrow Books • artist in the comments • BEHIND YOU! • dude • fire • Good Show Sir • hunkbutt • lion people • loincloth • Marion Zimmer Bradley • mountains • once you see it • planets • snake • Unknown Artist Institute • WTF
Mar 11
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When you think of a daemonic ritual you think about, gold five pointed stars, lots of gargoyle creatures sitting around and a golden sparkle female rising up in a plume of golden magic with the sharpest of teeth, right? No? Well just draw it or you don’t get paid!
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Tagged with: Chris Brown • daemons • damsel • Dangerous Energy series • evil • glow • Gollancz Books • John Whitbourn • magic • WTF
Mar 10
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Holy crap. We need something to distract from that bright silver font we’re using. So, how about a guy with an eye patch posing with weapons and a women doing the very same thing. Put a moon in the background, and by background I mean most of the cover.
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Tagged with: ax-wielding • BEHIND YOU! • black number one • bladed weapons • cloaks • daggers • damsel • dude • eyepatch • font problems • Hawk & Fisher series • Jon Sullivan • moon • Orion Books • proportional issues • shiny oh so shiny • Simon R. Green • space • sword • waistcoat • WTF
Mar 09
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A collection of fantasy stories? Well I know what they’ll want. A huge barbarian with a ponytail swinging his axe at randomly placed wood. Hmm, you’re right, needs thickened out. Throw a stereotype wizard/fireball combination in there and some damsel with a sword.
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Tagged with: Alan Dean Foster • Andre Norton • ax-wielding • Baen Books • beard-wielding • Bill Fawcett • bladed weapons • bracers • Brian Thomsen • damsel • David Drake • David Weber • dude • Elizabeth Moon • Faux-nan • Jeff Easley • Jody Lynn Nye • loincloth • magic • magical orbs • Mercedes Lackey • Mickey Zucker Reichert • Mike Resnick • Robert Asprin • sword • weird pecs • Wizaaaaaaaard!
Mar 08
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Thanks to Nix who says:
_Patterns of Chaos_ is a slightly famous book with a lot of amazing setpiece scenes which could have been used for the cover, starting with the destruction of entire planets, meticulously described, and ending with a transgalactic trip to a memorably unpleasant destination. If any book counts as overblown space opera, this one does.
So what did they use for the cover? A scowling cowled bloke, a weird plant, a badly-designed castle and a random number generator.
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Tagged with: alien city • Award Books • Colin Kapp • dude • monks • strange artifact • Unknown Artist Institute • WTF
Mar 05
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NIPPLES? What’s this obsession with nipples going around at the moment? Well by heck, we will give them so many nipples it will burn their retinas. And semi-naked muscle clad men killing some sort of beast! Now if you thought that wasn’t manly enough, we’ll give them all tashes!
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Tagged with: bladed weapons • dude • Hiero Desteen series • itsh shean connery • loincloth • muscles • Richard Clifton-Dey • Speedos • Sterling E. Lanier • sword • weird delts
Mar 04
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I’ve been on that Good Show Sir site and I know everything at the moment is about nipples! Here my friend we will defy convention. Cleavage but no nipples. Also, she’ll be kinda silver, jumping out of awful looking flames towards a star. Oh yeahhh, consider that convention defied!
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Tagged with: alien city • Ann Maxwell • cleavage • damsel • Elizabeth Lowell • fire • Orbit Books • planets • space
Mar 03
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Look, we need to appeal to both genders here. So we’ll have a male body fused with a female body from head to toe, in a kinda strange almost rubbery way. Obviously we’ll only show some cleavage because the last thing we’d want on there is a huge Johnson.
Thanks to Nix!
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Tagged with: BEHIND YOU! • cleavage • damsel • devil's dumplings • dude • exposed brain • font problems • Futura Publications • Meyer Dolinsky • Michael Adams • Mike Adams • Mike Dolinsky • starkers • statuesque • Unknown Artist Institute
Mar 02
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So lets say we have a black man and I really mean black. We’ll have him dressed in white skin, with nipples, because without the nipples it would just look strange. I am sure we can fob it off as social commentary. As long as we have the nipples.
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Tagged with: Coronet Science Fiction books • Dominic Flandry Series • dude • Poul Anderson • statuesque • Unknown Artist Institute • WTF
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