Good Show Sir

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Look the font is just too big we can’t fit the whole word in there. But hold on… Hold on a god damn second. What if we spelt it, DRA – GON and put it on two separate lines? Then all we’d have to do is add a dragon firing a laser from its mouth. God, I’m good.

It has come to our attention that this book is not Sci-fi nor fantasy. It is in fact a political thriller.
We appologise, but the cover is still amazing!

– Good Show Sir

(Average: 8.55 out of 10)

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Every man, or lord of the lands, needs a hairy companion. And what would they do together I hear your mind ask. Well they would go hill walking, dress in lovely princely clothes and watch the sun set together over the lands of… America? Wait… what?

(Average: 7.18 out of 10)

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I don’t know where I’ve been for the past few days, but I found this written on the back of my hand: Blue black skin, golden eyes, brain tubes, explosions, horrified expression, spaced out look, glass dome head.

Oh wait, it’s just all the classic symptoms of reading a collection of Sci-Fi stories.

(Average: 8.75 out of 10)

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Like a baseball bat to the face, we’ll hit our viewers with something special. A large forest women with rams horns and red curly hair. Perfect? Not quite. She’ll be wading her way through a swamp with another considerably smaller green tinted female watching. Now we’re perfect.

(Average: 4.38 out of 10)

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Look, with this we’re in a win-win situation. How could we go wrong with a space ship going through some sort of light speed travel and the captain pointing at a huge shiny hologram of a person? Just as long as we keep the fonts subtle we’ll be fine.

(Average: 7.17 out of 10)

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What in the name of Poseidon is this? A naked woman?! Look, we can’t have it go out like that, at least cover her up with something adequate, like a skimpy piece of cloth and some small shells covering a small portion of her cleavage. And have her standing on a chained man, pointing her sword at him. That way, it’s acceptable.

(Average: 4.54 out of 10)

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You know what’s on the way back in terms of being considered manly? Pink! That’s right. So we’ll have a lot of it. And on top of that epic dose of man we’ll add more layers of manliness. A crewcut, a crossbow and most importantly a stomach wound. That’s one large slice of man-cake for your eyes.

(Average: 4.67 out of 10)

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Oh, I know: I had this strange dream last night, possibly a nightmare. We’ll have a horse, the mare, charging through a book case, transparent like a ghost, into the view of a typical accountant type. Lapels and booze bottles around him, just like real life. Just kidding of course, we’ll have to make him look like he’s washed recently.

(Average: 4.35 out of 10)

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Listen to me carefully, I said give me a big bosomed women standing in front of some governmental type building casting a beefy fireball. With extra lens flare! Then place every sentence and word in a different type font. Oh wait… that’s what you’ve done.

(Average: 7.45 out of 10)

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You know what a book cover can never have enough of? That’s right chum, text. Lets fire as much on there as possible. And possibly some worm creature being attacked by guys with guns. But that’s secondary, no in fact it’s tertiary, to the fonts with their various marvelous colours and shapes.

(Average: 7.00 out of 10)

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