Good Show Sir

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Rod Comments: Killer crabs. Look, there’s a picture too. Surely this spares us having to read the shity thing?
Published 1978

I have a cream for that…. I’ll get my coat.
Many thanks to Rod!

(Average: 5.64 out of 10)

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Neil Comments: May Day May Day, we have a situation up here. At least I think Im in an aeroplane, maybe its some tech suit. Either way I think we should concentrate on a wolf coming out of the clouds.
Published 1990

Many thanks to Neil!

(Average: 6.85 out of 10)

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Tommi Comments: The blurb on the back translates as: “… Where Sturgeon, LeGuin, Heinlein and Russ where merely scratching the surface in their attempt to appropriately represent human sexuality in Science Fiction, David Gerrold is digging a deep shaft.” No comment, really, apart from, maybe – uuurgh.
Published 1978

Nice speedos!
Many thanks to Tommi!

(Average: 7.89 out of 10)

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Art Direction: Look, I’m telling you there is NOTHING more erotic than a naked women with an over-sized insect. Hold on a second who are those guys? What are they doing with a straitjacket? Hey, get off me. Wait, it’s still a good idea, I swear…. draw it… and remember meeeeeeeeee!
Published 1980

(Average: 7.09 out of 10)

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Brian’s Art Direction: What makes vampires scary? Exactly: it’s their lack of proportion. It’s their slightly big heads and taste for late-80s haircuts. Imagine a vampiress Bonnie Tyler. Get to it.
Published 1989

Many thanks to Brian!

(Average: 8.50 out of 10)

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Tom Noir’s Art Direction: Okay, this book is heroic Celtic fantasy, but the question is how do we sell it to the ladies? I’ll tell you how: full frontal nudity. What do you mean we can’t – okay, fine. Throw some strategically placed splashes over it to please the censors. But just so people get the picture, fill the remaining cover space with pictures of swords.

Published 1993

You might remember this from here.

Seriously, why do all these guys shave their body hair?
Amazing! Many thanks to Tom!

(Average: 8.63 out of 10)

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Art Direction: We need something that really gets across the feeling of time travel. So, in other words I mean a naked gladiator takes on a Boeing 737. And by naked I just having him at some strange angle so we can’t see his bum crack or giblets. I know, I’m no fun.
Published 1980

(Average: 8.54 out of 10)

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Nix Comments: This book is reasonable-if-crappy (it’s a Modesitt, so it has Modesitt’s sole interchangeable plot) and the cover is a pretty good depiction of a scene from the book… but the cover is so badly done it distracted me from reading the book. I’m not even sure what’s wrong with it. Are those bobbleheads or are they actually almost in proportion and merely a horrible example of the dangers of having naturalistic heads and cartoon everything else? I don’t know.
Published 2000

Space pilots are so moody!
Thanks to Nix!

(Average: 6.51 out of 10)

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Lauren Comments: The expressions on their faces have always bothered me–is he thinking about smashing her head with that statue? Is she considering using the trapdoor to dump him in a garbage pit?
Published 1991

Many thanks to Lauren!

(Average: 6.93 out of 10)

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Dave Comments: Let’s see. We have a guy in a tree, with a sword, getting ready to lop of the head of a snake, with its head super-imposed against The Moon. Paging Dr. Freud!
Published 1983

Hey, I’ve seen that scene in the jungle book!!
Many thanks to Dave!

(Average: 5.43 out of 10)

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