Good Show Sir

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Eyelashes! We’ll have a dragon with eyelashes, peering over at some wizard reading his dragon magical book. It won’t just be any mage, he’ll have a magical staff! Unheard of I know. And a side parting to make the king of side partings proud. As for the title, make it silver. We have to stand out somehow.

(Average: 6.32 out of 10)

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World gets destroyed by large alien disco balls firing lasers. Lasers that create nuclear explosions. Then we’ll have some women in a tight shirt, unbuttoned just enough to tease our readers. And like every other cover out there, she’ll be completely ignoring the fact that there is a mammoth nuclear explosion going off in the background. Women, eh?

(Average: 7.90 out of 10)

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A scary witch-shard in the middle. Who am I to deny the cover of something the title mentions? Oh, and some dude firing a bow. OH, and some scary bear creeping up in the background. OHHHH – and some hot women with a dagger giving the uncomfortable twisted-body ass-pose. But most importantly: Shiny, keep it shiny.

(Average: 7.93 out of 10)

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There are few times in life when I boast of attaining perfection. The fonts, the scary woman who looks a little too desperate for a man, the man frozen as he runs away, the mist, the obligatory quote and lets not forget the glow. I can see it now. We are giving them something so beautiful that people will shed tears of joy.

(Average: 8.39 out of 10)

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Excuse me, Sir, there is a phone call for you.

Art Director: Is it ready?
Mysterious caller: It’s more glorious than you could ever imagine.
Art Director: You remembered the…
Mysterious caller: Vampire, Minotaur, Robot, Damsel, Roman man in toga with sword, Angel and death star?
Art Director: Don’t forget Saberhagen.. he must be in there to! Mu hahahahahahaaha!
Mysterious caller: MU hahahahahahahaahhahaaha
Art Director: No… only I may laugh! Mu hahahaahahahah!
Mysterious caller: ………………………

(Average: 8.45 out of 10)

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Right, with a title like that I mean it’s self explanatory, we’ll put a dragon there. What? A bikinni clad busty women with a bow and arrow? Well I don’t see….. and a space ship? But..but….oh alright then, but I’m going to give the women some furs to cover her shame. And by shame I clearly mean shoulders! Yeahhh! High five anyone? Anyone….?

(Average: 7.42 out of 10)

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(Average: 8.16 out of 10)

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You remember in the Falklands when the British fleet attacked the Argentinians? Just like that, but imagine the Argentinians were reptiles! And have a large reptilian eye staring at the ass of a busty not-very-clothed women who’s casting chain lightning. I know… I’m physically excited too!

(Average: 7.93 out of 10)

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Shoulder pads, parachuter’s with lugers, Nazi’s fighting villagers, lens flare oh lots of lens flare which obviously symbolises magic, leather, sweat bands, …. did I mention shoulder pads?

(Have a great easter weekend! This bends our rules seeing as it is part of a franchise, but come on this one is so worth it! Enjoy!)

Thanks so much to CSA!

(Average: 8.07 out of 10)

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Art direction: Give me a big pasty vampire, fresh from his WoD LARP, and an appartition of the guy that played Q from Star Trek. The nerds will love it, I know!

(Average: 8.36 out of 10)

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