Good Show Sir

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You know what I love about Ireland? All the dwarfs, the mysterious dark riders on horses, the barmaids that insist on carrying a bow and arrow with them, the extreme landscapes and, of course, the rainbows so I know where to find my pot of gold. We should turn that into a cover someday, my boy.

(Average: 5.97 out of 10)

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Do dragons wash themselves? I guess they’d have to. Who would want to ride on the back of a big stinking dragon, eh? Ah hahaha – so have one in the sea or something, scrubbing away. And have some damsel stumble across him. And though I kinda want them, best not draw any dragon ‘bits’.

(Average: 4.08 out of 10)

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The shine! We are all about the shine. But we’re lacking somewhere, there is just something we need to push the readers right over the edge and into the pit of greatness. Got it! Half-naked faeries and royal elves. Making one of them look like an Elizabethan queen will drive all the boys crayze-Z!

(Average: 7.71 out of 10)

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Well I asked my teenage son and he said, “Running, running women, with barely any clothes, a mass amount of muscles, two of them running in the desert wilderness towards victory.” Just kidding, I said that. Best throw in a flying robot and a dragon to chase after them. There’s no better running motivation than death, eh!

Thanks to Dave K!

(Average: 7.83 out of 10)

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A scary witch-shard in the middle. Who am I to deny the cover of something the title mentions? Oh, and some dude firing a bow. OH, and some scary bear creeping up in the background. OHHHH – and some hot women with a dagger giving the uncomfortable twisted-body ass-pose. But most importantly: Shiny, keep it shiny.

(Average: 7.93 out of 10)

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In the future pilots won’t just be piloting boring old planes or space ships. No! They’ll be piloting space scooters! Retro space scooters!! Going from space station to station, wearing their retro spacesuits and carrying their cargo of little blue blobs with little tentacles. No? Well, just draw it and hopefully it will come true by 2010.

Thanks to Dave K!

(Average: 8.43 out of 10)

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Here you go boss, we’ve spent all weekend on this. It’s called “sea”, right? Well, what do we love under the sea? Mermaids of course! With long hair and large… fins. And what else could we grab people’s attention with? An underwater dragon!!! Booo yeah!!! Just tell me how that doesn’t make perfect sense!?! No boss, you don’t actually have to answer that…

(Average: 5.93 out of 10)

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What we shouldn’t have is something like ships exploding covering most of the front cover as some four armed goblins fire a cannon. And some blonde women holding her gun as she surveys the scene. Then the title and authors in huge fonts! THEN quotes from reviews just in case we think it’s not busy enough! That’s what we shouldn’t have guys. Right, guys? …Right?

(Average: 8.56 out of 10)

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BONUS Hi-Res Image!
Suitable for framing to hang in your man-cave.

Good Show Sir Art Direction: You know what type of reader suffers in the world of sci-fi/fantasy? Men! We need something for the men! So just put a redhead vampire chick with a huge rack right there on the front cover, holding her shotgun. It’s about time that we have something men can enjoy unlike those, dragons, swords, guns, lasers…….space ships…..oh…

(Average: 8.27 out of 10)

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I want you to listen to me, very carefully! Wolf howls up to the sky while a dragon flies in the background with a knight on its back. Again in the foreground a bowl cut man stands, his hand grasped firmly and suggestively around his sword. If you want to see your family again you will draw what I tell you.

(Average: 6.13 out of 10)

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