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Jan 11

Man, I must look awesome. Pity I'm not actually charging at anyone.Click for full image

Nothing says, ‘I’m one hundred percent pure man,’ than a glowing sword, blonde curtains and a cape with some red velvet lining. We’ll have him charging towards the reader on his horse, waving his sword and smiling manically. Make sure the fonts have at least three layers of bordering!

Actually, that cover IS a classical work of art!I would touch it without protective gloves.I've seen worse. Far, far, worse.Interesting, but I would still read it in public.Middlng: Neither awful nor awfully goodWould not like to be seen reading that!Awful... just awful...That belongs in a gold-lame picture frame!Gah... my eyes are burning! Feels so good!Good Show Sir! (Average: 4.59 out of 10)
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Dec 11

Hmm. Why did I think sitting on the tail of this shuttle would be comfortable.Click for full image

Guy sits uncomfortably on the tail of a space shuttle. Don’t forget huge shiny text. And we’ll have to quote another one of her books, something that will really appeal to those hardcore Sci-Fi readers. Oh oh! I know. Dragons of Pern. Ace!

Actually, that cover IS a classical work of art!I would touch it without protective gloves.I've seen worse. Far, far, worse.Interesting, but I would still read it in public.Middlng: Neither awful nor awfully goodWould not like to be seen reading that!Awful... just awful...That belongs in a gold-lame picture frame!Gah... my eyes are burning! Feels so good!Good Show Sir! (Average: 7.21 out of 10)
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Dec 02

Man it's so not fair, I don't have a robe!Click for full image

There is nothing in this world that makes anything look better than shiny gold highlights around text and generally shiny boxes around huge fonts. What will you draw? Oh uh, three guys on a mountain edge, don’t forget the magic! Fantasy isn’t fantasy without a magic fireball or two.

Actually, that cover IS a classical work of art!I would touch it without protective gloves.I've seen worse. Far, far, worse.Interesting, but I would still read it in public.Middlng: Neither awful nor awfully goodWould not like to be seen reading that!Awful... just awful...That belongs in a gold-lame picture frame!Gah... my eyes are burning! Feels so good!Good Show Sir! (Average: 5.00 out of 10)
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Nov 23

So, would you like to get dinner? ....why are you running away? Oh right, forgot I had a sword with me.Click for full image

OH OH OH! Let’s have a half naked man grasping his magic electrified sword around waist height. That sounds suggestive? Of course it is, he’s holding a sword right next to his baby maker. A ha ha ha. Don’t forget to overload the whole cover with text, a lot of text, in all shapes and sizes.

Actually, that cover IS a classical work of art!I would touch it without protective gloves.I've seen worse. Far, far, worse.Interesting, but I would still read it in public.Middlng: Neither awful nor awfully goodWould not like to be seen reading that!Awful... just awful...That belongs in a gold-lame picture frame!Gah... my eyes are burning! Feels so good!Good Show Sir! (Average: 8.90 out of 10)
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Nov 18

I'll dagger it, Samuel you can fire magic at it, Dan you sword it... and Liz... uh wave your hands at it.Click for full image

Hmm, putting on our thinking caps here. ‘Servant of the Dragon’ …. Servant …. Dragon… DRAGON.. of course! Lets have a huge scary, bird! It makes complete sense. We’ll have wizards, swords men and damsels fighting it. One word to descibe my idea, epic!

Actually, that cover IS a classical work of art!I would touch it without protective gloves.I've seen worse. Far, far, worse.Interesting, but I would still read it in public.Middlng: Neither awful nor awfully goodWould not like to be seen reading that!Awful... just awful...That belongs in a gold-lame picture frame!Gah... my eyes are burning! Feels so good!Good Show Sir! (Average: 6.58 out of 10)
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Oct 23

Internet dating succcccckkkksss!!Click for full image

Click for new, improved, hi-def image

There are few times in life when I boast of attaining perfection. The fonts, the scary woman who looks a little too desperate for a man, the man frozen as he runs away, the mist, the obligatory quote and lets not forget the glow. I can see it now. We are giving them something so beautiful that people will shed tears of joy.

Actually, that cover IS a classical work of art!I would touch it without protective gloves.I've seen worse. Far, far, worse.Interesting, but I would still read it in public.Middlng: Neither awful nor awfully goodWould not like to be seen reading that!Awful... just awful...That belongs in a gold-lame picture frame!Gah... my eyes are burning! Feels so good!Good Show Sir! (Average: 8.74 out of 10)
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Oct 21

Look, this relationship just isn't working out....Click for full image

Here you go boss, we’ve spent all weekend on this. It’s called “sea”, right? Well, what do we love under the sea? Mermaids of course! With long hair and large… fins. And what else could we grab people’s attention with? An underwater dragon!!! Booo yeah!!! Just tell me how that doesn’t make perfect sense!?! No boss, you don’t actually have to answer that…

Actually, that cover IS a classical work of art!I would touch it without protective gloves.I've seen worse. Far, far, worse.Interesting, but I would still read it in public.Middlng: Neither awful nor awfully goodWould not like to be seen reading that!Awful... just awful...That belongs in a gold-lame picture frame!Gah... my eyes are burning! Feels so good!Good Show Sir! (Average: 7.13 out of 10)
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Oct 16

Shit, I forgot my arrow.Click for full image

Hello there sir, could I stop you for a quick survey today? Excellent. Imagine that we gave you a cover that included terrible fonts, a man with a very chiseled chin in some sort of armour, holding his short bow. Then pump tons of strange glows and lens flare on places you’d not expect. On scale of one to ten, how likely are you going to take this on a bus with you? Sir? Come back! Sir?

Actually, that cover IS a classical work of art!I would touch it without protective gloves.I've seen worse. Far, far, worse.Interesting, but I would still read it in public.Middlng: Neither awful nor awfully goodWould not like to be seen reading that!Awful... just awful...That belongs in a gold-lame picture frame!Gah... my eyes are burning! Feels so good!Good Show Sir! (Average: 7.64 out of 10)
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Oct 05

I must look so dam awesome right about now!Click for full image

Well, we’ve got the red on there, ’cause of fire being in the title. We’ve got the epic dragon and the merlin esk wizard with his magic orb. But we’re missing something. Something that’s going to make someone pick up the book and think, ‘this is the one.’ Of course!! Surround the title in an awesome gold shiny goodness!

Actually, that cover IS a classical work of art!I would touch it without protective gloves.I've seen worse. Far, far, worse.Interesting, but I would still read it in public.Middlng: Neither awful nor awfully goodWould not like to be seen reading that!Awful... just awful...That belongs in a gold-lame picture frame!Gah... my eyes are burning! Feels so good!Good Show Sir! (Average: 4.04 out of 10)
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Oct 01

The one peacefully eating that tree. He'll make so many steaks! Mmm MMM!Click for full image

Draw a few dinosaurs and some people jet-packing around the planet. That way we have both words of the title covered. Though, concentrate on the title, huge black box, every word highlighted with something awesome. You don’t know what that means? For God’s sake man, like, put the word ‘Anne’ in an orange diamond shape. That’s the type of awesome I’m talking about!

Actually, that cover IS a classical work of art!I would touch it without protective gloves.I've seen worse. Far, far, worse.Interesting, but I would still read it in public.Middlng: Neither awful nor awfully goodWould not like to be seen reading that!Awful... just awful...That belongs in a gold-lame picture frame!Gah... my eyes are burning! Feels so good!Good Show Sir! (Average: 6.61 out of 10)
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