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Mar 26

It's fonts I'm tellin' ya! Giant fonts on the covers sell the books!Click for larger fonts

JuanPaul Comments: It’s fun to crank up the C-Y-M-K
It’s fun to crank up the C-Y-M-K-ayy
You can use all the ink, you can make it look chrome
You can hit us with looks of sto-one

Published 1988

Actually, that cover IS a classical work of art!I would touch it without protective gloves.I've seen worse. Far, far, worse.Interesting, but I would still read it in public.Middlng: Neither awful nor awfully goodWould not like to be seen reading that!Awful... just awful...That belongs in a gold-lame picture frame!Gah... my eyes are burning! Feels so good!Good Show Sir! (Average: 8.38 out of 10)
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Mar 22

Magazines, franchise books, paper dolls and “non-fiction” occult. We have a potpourri jamboree here for another in our continuing series of Honourable Mentions. Keep us in your thoughts and prayers.

 

Now add a pinch of PicardClick for larger image

Erik Tollstedt Comments: I want an image of Ernest Hemingway. He should be sitting on a purple couch in outer space. There should be papers flying away from his lap. Also, I’d like to see Ernest Hemingway’s head explode. But not in the normal way. It should explode into several other heads, one of them a sleeping hispanic man, and the other Emperor Ming. And have some sort of purple beam shoot out of his brain too. Yeah, that will convey “creative genius” like nothing else.
Published 1990

 

Laser RhodanClick for larger image

Lillie Awesome Comments: When the party supply store attacks.
Published 1972

 

You look great! Let's head to the sushi barClick for larger image

GSS ex-noob Comments: Why don’t you post more of my covers?
Published 2017

 

Conjure Wife-swappingClick for larger image

Theresa Comments: The satanic black mass orgy happpened so fast that it was just a blur.
Published 1973

Actually, that cover IS a classical work of art!I would touch it without protective gloves.I've seen worse. Far, far, worse.Interesting, but I would still read it in public.Middlng: Neither awful nor awfully goodWould not like to be seen reading that!Awful... just awful...That belongs in a gold-lame picture frame!Gah... my eyes are burning! Feels so good!Good Show Sir! (Average: 8.67 out of 10)
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Dec 10

He maybe a bit of an undead Van de Graaff generator... but I love him.Click for full image

Tom Noir’s Art Direction: Here it is, this is gonna blow your minds: a hot babe getting felt up in an open grave! But make it black-and-white so we can slip it past the censors. Put some bats in there too. OH! And make sure the bats have boobs.
Published 1991 or 1996

Actually, that cover IS a classical work of art!I would touch it without protective gloves.I've seen worse. Far, far, worse.Interesting, but I would still read it in public.Middlng: Neither awful nor awfully goodWould not like to be seen reading that!Awful... just awful...That belongs in a gold-lame picture frame!Gah... my eyes are burning! Feels so good!Good Show Sir! (Average: 8.49 out of 10)
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Oct 08

Is that a gun or cake? Ah to hell with it... I'm going to shoot...Click for full image

Tom Noir Comments: With a sinking heart, Brad realized their skin-tight glam-rock outfits would not be an effective disguise in the forest.
Published 2007

Actually, that cover IS a classical work of art!I would touch it without protective gloves.I've seen worse. Far, far, worse.Interesting, but I would still read it in public.Middlng: Neither awful nor awfully goodWould not like to be seen reading that!Awful... just awful...That belongs in a gold-lame picture frame!Gah... my eyes are burning! Feels so good!Good Show Sir! (Average: 7.75 out of 10)
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Mar 07

Unknown to some, King Penguins are respected collectors of fine art.Click for full image

Tom Noir’s Art Direction: I want a cover that depicts the author’s existential angst and self-loathing. Just kidding! Draw a naked broad with big gazongas on it and call it a day. Ooh, and maybe have a bird squawking at her.
Published 1993

Actually, that cover IS a classical work of art!I would touch it without protective gloves.I've seen worse. Far, far, worse.Interesting, but I would still read it in public.Middlng: Neither awful nor awfully goodWould not like to be seen reading that!Awful... just awful...That belongs in a gold-lame picture frame!Gah... my eyes are burning! Feels so good!Good Show Sir! (Average: 8.09 out of 10)
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Feb 17

Nice Beaver! Thanks I just had it stuffed!Click for full image

Tom Noir’s Art Direction: Stevens! We have a problem. ‘Demon Muskrat Vixens,’ just came back from the printers with a picture of some giant cube on the cover. What happened to that crazy ass piece we originally commissioned for it?!

Update: New, improved cover photo supplied by Tom Noir!

Published 1993

Many thanks to Tom!

Actually, that cover IS a classical work of art!I would touch it without protective gloves.I've seen worse. Far, far, worse.Interesting, but I would still read it in public.Middlng: Neither awful nor awfully goodWould not like to be seen reading that!Awful... just awful...That belongs in a gold-lame picture frame!Gah... my eyes are burning! Feels so good!Good Show Sir! (Average: 7.86 out of 10)
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Sep 15

She doesn't have to be naked. I just thought it would be funny to tell her she had to be.Click for full image

Ashton Comments: Usually when there’s a naked woman on the front of a book it’s to titillate the viewer, but this brave artist went against convention and made the most unappealing cover he could think of.
Published 1989

Many thanks to Ashton!

Actually, that cover IS a classical work of art!I would touch it without protective gloves.I've seen worse. Far, far, worse.Interesting, but I would still read it in public.Middlng: Neither awful nor awfully goodWould not like to be seen reading that!Awful... just awful...That belongs in a gold-lame picture frame!Gah... my eyes are burning! Feels so good!Good Show Sir! (Average: 8.23 out of 10)
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