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Jul 12

Skyfall

30 Comments »

We may look cheesy... but at least we don't have a theme song by Adele...Click for full image

Dead Stuff with Big Teeth’s Art Direction: Gentlemen…perhaps what this cover needs is both a man, and a horse! Yes! And another man with a mullet, showing he doesn’t know how to ride a horse. And… a girl wearing nothing but body paint, standing at the top of a staircase! Because, gentlemen: nobody would otherwise pay money for something a woman has written!
(the senior partners, followed by everyone else in the room, erupt in a perfect storm of applause. The junior copyrighter wipes a tear from his eye)
Published 2003

Actually, that cover IS a classical work of art!I would touch it without protective gloves.I've seen worse. Far, far, worse.Interesting, but I would still read it in public.Middlng: Neither awful nor awfully goodWould not like to be seen reading that!Awful... just awful...That belongs in a gold-lame picture frame!Gah... my eyes are burning! Feels so good!Good Show Sir! (Average: 7.37 out of 10)
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Jul 01

The Aware

26 Comments »

It's a slimy way to ride... but it gets you there!Click for full image

Erica’s Art Direction: Weird sea horse creature. Check. Scary-looking sword. Check. Hot warrior woman. Check. Leather Vest. Check. Pants. Uh, what? You wanted me to draw pants?
Published 2005

Actually, that cover IS a classical work of art!I would touch it without protective gloves.I've seen worse. Far, far, worse.Interesting, but I would still read it in public.Middlng: Neither awful nor awfully goodWould not like to be seen reading that!Awful... just awful...That belongs in a gold-lame picture frame!Gah... my eyes are burning! Feels so good!Good Show Sir! (Average: 8.09 out of 10)
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May 28

Bouncing Off the Moon

42 Comments »

I am NOT asking for directions... It's right over the next crater... I think...Click for full image

Tom Noir Comments: Look out! No brakes!
Published 2001

Actually, that cover IS a classical work of art!I would touch it without protective gloves.I've seen worse. Far, far, worse.Interesting, but I would still read it in public.Middlng: Neither awful nor awfully goodWould not like to be seen reading that!Awful... just awful...That belongs in a gold-lame picture frame!Gah... my eyes are burning! Feels so good!Good Show Sir! (Average: 6.97 out of 10)
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May 21

The Silent Invaders

17 Comments »

Frankly my dear... I don't give a PARKLACKIENVIANTAZZ!Click for full image

Scott Comments: After seeing the comment on “Behind the Walls of Terra” about “the REAL story behind ‘Gone With The Wind’,” well, I think we might have that story right here. What it is? I am now somewhat curious…
Published 1977

Actually, that cover IS a classical work of art!I would touch it without protective gloves.I've seen worse. Far, far, worse.Interesting, but I would still read it in public.Middlng: Neither awful nor awfully goodWould not like to be seen reading that!Awful... just awful...That belongs in a gold-lame picture frame!Gah... my eyes are burning! Feels so good!Good Show Sir! (Average: 6.37 out of 10)
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Oct 09

Pursuit of the Screamer

23 Comments »

Damn it... this one is more of a moaner...Click for full image

Frank Comments: Cover art by Gino D’Achille. Who I note wasn’t afraid to paint a lady warrior with a bit of convexity where her tummy should be. I approve!
Published 1978

Actually, that cover IS a classical work of art!I would touch it without protective gloves.I've seen worse. Far, far, worse.Interesting, but I would still read it in public.Middlng: Neither awful nor awfully goodWould not like to be seen reading that!Awful... just awful...That belongs in a gold-lame picture frame!Gah... my eyes are burning! Feels so good!Good Show Sir! (Average: 6.40 out of 10)
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Sep 04

Golden Dawn

19 Comments »

Just like all 90's music videos...Click for full image

Good Show Sir’s Art Direction: Self published? Well I mean we could try to make it look good or… we could just slap on a large transparent women’s head in the midst of a country sunrise. I wonder what though…
Published 2008

Actually, that cover IS a classical work of art!I would touch it without protective gloves.I've seen worse. Far, far, worse.Interesting, but I would still read it in public.Middlng: Neither awful nor awfully goodWould not like to be seen reading that!Awful... just awful...That belongs in a gold-lame picture frame!Gah... my eyes are burning! Feels so good!Good Show Sir! (Average: 7.00 out of 10)
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Aug 13

Lyon’s Pride

19 Comments »

Family photos in space are going to be... awesome!Click for full image

Ian Comments: I wonder if the little one-eyed guy/gal finds it creepy that the woman has her hand draped over her/his shoulder…
Published 1994

Back Cover Here

Actually, that cover IS a classical work of art!I would touch it without protective gloves.I've seen worse. Far, far, worse.Interesting, but I would still read it in public.Middlng: Neither awful nor awfully goodWould not like to be seen reading that!Awful... just awful...That belongs in a gold-lame picture frame!Gah... my eyes are burning! Feels so good!Good Show Sir! (Average: 6.09 out of 10)
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Jul 18

Channel’s Destiny

16 Comments »

And.... Jazz hands!!Click for full image

Winged Wolf Comments: An excellent series, and one of my favourites. This scene actually appears in the book, and is depicted fairly accurately. Except for the tentacles. They never get the tentacles right.
Published 1983

Actually, that cover IS a classical work of art!I would touch it without protective gloves.I've seen worse. Far, far, worse.Interesting, but I would still read it in public.Middlng: Neither awful nor awfully goodWould not like to be seen reading that!Awful... just awful...That belongs in a gold-lame picture frame!Gah... my eyes are burning! Feels so good!Good Show Sir! (Average: 6.06 out of 10)
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Apr 16

Mythmaster

26 Comments »

Quick dear, lets go. Sean Connery is trying to steal my man thong for Zardos!Click for full image

Colette’s Art Direction: I want an attractive couple on another planet who wear ribbons instead of actual clothing. But I guess we need something that will make it seem horrible AND sexy, so can you add a long trail of golden ectoplasm to the woman’s lower body? It should imply “you have radiant womb” and not “you should immediately see a doctor about that.”
Published 1973

Actually, that cover IS a classical work of art!I would touch it without protective gloves.I've seen worse. Far, far, worse.Interesting, but I would still read it in public.Middlng: Neither awful nor awfully goodWould not like to be seen reading that!Awful... just awful...That belongs in a gold-lame picture frame!Gah... my eyes are burning! Feels so good!Good Show Sir! (Average: 7.11 out of 10)
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Feb 07

Paradise Is Not Enough

14 Comments »

It's like, how much more purple could this be? and the answer is none. None more purple.Click for full image

Joachim Comments:Man with heavy mascara, in a purple cloud, with a star, sparkling, under his eye…. Is paradise a purple cloud?
Published 1971

Actually, that cover IS a classical work of art!I would touch it without protective gloves.I've seen worse. Far, far, worse.Interesting, but I would still read it in public.Middlng: Neither awful nor awfully goodWould not like to be seen reading that!Awful... just awful...That belongs in a gold-lame picture frame!Gah... my eyes are burning! Feels so good!Good Show Sir! (Average: 7.43 out of 10)
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