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Jul 18

French Mega Post

22 Comments »

I haven’t done a mega post or an honourable mentions in a while so here we go! Here’s a collection of some special French covers sent in by Cedric and Paul. Thanks very much and I hope everyone enjoys them!

Seriously... what?!!?Click for full image

Cedric Comments: Here is a wonderfully psychedelic and disturbing cover. This is before Photoshop, in the late 70s/early 80s.
Published 1977

Shoo! Shoo! We're trying to have an evil picnic here!Click for full MORALLY CORRUPTIBLE image

Cedric Comments: Note the strange animal at the front, confused about whether it should be a polar bear, an unicorn or some kind of big eagle. Or maybe a big confused cat, judging by the claws? And of course you can find a lightly clad lady in the back, requested by the marketing department to boost sales.
Published 1982

Once you get used to the fur everywhere and the feces they're surprisingly good warriors!Click for full image

Cedric Comments: There is something highly disturbing about these little hairy folks.
Published 1990

Eyes, or kiwi's?Click for full image

Paul’s Art Direction: Mutants have eyes. This is an anthology of mutant stories that means lots of eyes in fact so many eyes you could float on them, do it!
Published 1974

Space Sheep censoring doesn't count for ugly nakedness!Click for full image

Paul’s Art Direction: Make everything droopy!
Published 1972

Actually, that cover IS a classical work of art!I would touch it without protective gloves.I've seen worse. Far, far, worse.Interesting, but I would still read it in public.Middlng: Neither awful nor awfully goodWould not like to be seen reading that!Awful... just awful...That belongs in a gold-lame picture frame!Gah... my eyes are burning! Feels so good!Good Show Sir! (Average: 7.61 out of 10)
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Jul 11

The Final Programme

22 Comments »

Somone's been on the Tesco own-brand bourbon again!Click for full SHOCKINGLY INDECENT image

Jon Comments: I know those Moorcock/Mayflower covers are like shooting fish in a barrel, but I needed something to go with my chips. I actually got the man himself to sign my copy recently and I told him I felt the film version was underrated. He agreed with me, with the minor change of “under” to “over”. Seemed a nice bloke, though.
Published 1973

Actually, that cover IS a classical work of art!I would touch it without protective gloves.I've seen worse. Far, far, worse.Interesting, but I would still read it in public.Middlng: Neither awful nor awfully goodWould not like to be seen reading that!Awful... just awful...That belongs in a gold-lame picture frame!Gah... my eyes are burning! Feels so good!Good Show Sir! (Average: 8.58 out of 10)
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Jun 30

The Case of the Toxic Spell Dump

17 Comments »

Ah to roll around in treasure while touching my nipples... a god's life!Click for full image

Dorian’s Art Direction: What do you mean, there are no scantily clad women in the story? No werewolf? No heaps of treasure? No weird monster consisting entirely of teeth and wings? Ah, who cares? No-one ever looks at these things anyway.
Published 1993

Actually, that cover IS a classical work of art!I would touch it without protective gloves.I've seen worse. Far, far, worse.Interesting, but I would still read it in public.Middlng: Neither awful nor awfully goodWould not like to be seen reading that!Awful... just awful...That belongs in a gold-lame picture frame!Gah... my eyes are burning! Feels so good!Good Show Sir! (Average: 6.56 out of 10)
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Jun 29

The Jaws that Bite, the Claws that Catch

21 Comments »

Damn this magical nakedness. No need for the censor sheep yet again!

Joachim Comments: Girl with strategically placed stars (of course). Chola eyebrows and bleached blonde hair with walking shark with gill piercing/oops, I mean a chain-leash…. And she has claws of course — see, the cover is derived entirely from the TITLE!
Published 1975

Actually, that cover IS a classical work of art!I would touch it without protective gloves.I've seen worse. Far, far, worse.Interesting, but I would still read it in public.Middlng: Neither awful nor awfully goodWould not like to be seen reading that!Awful... just awful...That belongs in a gold-lame picture frame!Gah... my eyes are burning! Feels so good!Good Show Sir! (Average: 6.90 out of 10)
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Jun 07

Odd John

33 Comments »

Does that boat have wings?Click for full image

Phil Comments: Why John, you are so odd that I must hide behind these conveniently positioned but otherwise random spikes. But at least you’ve noticed me, which makes you not quite as odd as you used to be back in the days of: Odd John.


Published 1959

Actually, that cover IS a classical work of art!I would touch it without protective gloves.I've seen worse. Far, far, worse.Interesting, but I would still read it in public.Middlng: Neither awful nor awfully goodWould not like to be seen reading that!Awful... just awful...That belongs in a gold-lame picture frame!Gah... my eyes are burning! Feels so good!Good Show Sir! (Average: 8.22 out of 10)
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May 19

The Robin and the Kestrel

35 Comments »

No... don't sing a whole new world! It will summon death!Click for full image

Matt’s Art Direction: Fabric! I want to see lots of fabric. And hands, lots of dramatically posed hands. And least one bare breast, only you’ll have to conceal the nipple with something. How about a cross?
Published 1994

Actually, that cover IS a classical work of art!I would touch it without protective gloves.I've seen worse. Far, far, worse.Interesting, but I would still read it in public.Middlng: Neither awful nor awfully goodWould not like to be seen reading that!Awful... just awful...That belongs in a gold-lame picture frame!Gah... my eyes are burning! Feels so good!Good Show Sir! (Average: 7.09 out of 10)
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May 13

Continuum 1

20 Comments »

Someone enjoys the smell of their armpits a bit too much!Click for full SHOCKINGLY UNCENSORED image

Art Direction: Lets get this done with, I have a squash game to get to! Right, got it! Half women, the topless half I might add and half… I don’t know… Golden retriever?
Published 1977

Actually, that cover IS a classical work of art!I would touch it without protective gloves.I've seen worse. Far, far, worse.Interesting, but I would still read it in public.Middlng: Neither awful nor awfully goodWould not like to be seen reading that!Awful... just awful...That belongs in a gold-lame picture frame!Gah... my eyes are burning! Feels so good!Good Show Sir! (Average: 7.29 out of 10)
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May 09

Shadow Magic

33 Comments »

And now we will explain the new governmental policies through the form of... interpretive dance!Click for full image

Kelly Comments: Bikini-wearing sorceress…fish guy in a toga…Robin Hood type cat-woman.. in a cathedral??
Published 1984

Actually, that cover IS a classical work of art!I would touch it without protective gloves.I've seen worse. Far, far, worse.Interesting, but I would still read it in public.Middlng: Neither awful nor awfully goodWould not like to be seen reading that!Awful... just awful...That belongs in a gold-lame picture frame!Gah... my eyes are burning! Feels so good!Good Show Sir! (Average: 7.49 out of 10)
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May 03

Jason Cosmo

39 Comments »

Well that was one messed up orgy, I'm off to cut some wood!Click for full image

E Comments: The giant soda can in the background is the clincher.
Published 1989

Actually, that cover IS a classical work of art!I would touch it without protective gloves.I've seen worse. Far, far, worse.Interesting, but I would still read it in public.Middlng: Neither awful nor awfully goodWould not like to be seen reading that!Awful... just awful...That belongs in a gold-lame picture frame!Gah... my eyes are burning! Feels so good!Good Show Sir! (Average: 7.48 out of 10)
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Apr 26

The Cingulum

35 Comments »

Ah whales... when will they learn they can never win against science. Those bastards.Click for full image

Christal Comments: Unbeknownst to the author, the night before the cover art was due the artist stayed up all night smoking weed and watching The Mummy and Star Trek IV on an endless loop all night long.
Published 1985

Actually, that cover IS a classical work of art!I would touch it without protective gloves.I've seen worse. Far, far, worse.Interesting, but I would still read it in public.Middlng: Neither awful nor awfully goodWould not like to be seen reading that!Awful... just awful...That belongs in a gold-lame picture frame!Gah... my eyes are burning! Feels so good!Good Show Sir! (Average: 6.29 out of 10)
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