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Sep 11

One thing about living in Santa Carla I never could stomach, all the damn sexy sexy vampires.Click for full image

Jaouad’s Art Direction: Vampires? Look, I don’t care what it’s about, just give me a lingerie model, I want boobs. Oh, and a sword.
Published 2007

Actually, that cover IS a classical work of art!I would touch it without protective gloves.I've seen worse. Far, far, worse.Interesting, but I would still read it in public.Middlng: Neither awful nor awfully goodWould not like to be seen reading that!Awful... just awful...That belongs in a gold-lame picture frame!Gah... my eyes are burning! Feels so good!Good Show Sir! (Average: 5.44 out of 10)
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Aug 23

Awkk... just another Friday night in the centre of Glasgow.Click for full image

Scott B Comments: I heartily approve of the Space Moose steed here, but the culture clash of the Native American / Scots clothing is really messing with my mind. And the giant fiery phoenix hair. I guess this isn’t one of the four books my planetary civilization needs.
Published 1969

Actually, that cover IS a classical work of art!I would touch it without protective gloves.I've seen worse. Far, far, worse.Interesting, but I would still read it in public.Middlng: Neither awful nor awfully goodWould not like to be seen reading that!Awful... just awful...That belongs in a gold-lame picture frame!Gah... my eyes are burning! Feels so good!Good Show Sir! (Average: 8.87 out of 10)
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Jul 20

Luckily for you... I brought the brightest candle in the world!No larger image available

Alessandra’s Art Direction: I want a couple of giant kids, way too big for the architecture they’re in. I want the architecture to be real crazy, too, to make no sense in terms of scale or perspective or anything. Make the kids skinny, but make their heads real big and make sure the girl has lots of eye makeup and styling mousse. Dress ’em in brightly-colored vaguely medievalish clothes like you see on Robin Hood on TV, or at Medieval Times or something.
Published 1995

Actually, that cover IS a classical work of art!I would touch it without protective gloves.I've seen worse. Far, far, worse.Interesting, but I would still read it in public.Middlng: Neither awful nor awfully goodWould not like to be seen reading that!Awful... just awful...That belongs in a gold-lame picture frame!Gah... my eyes are burning! Feels so good!Good Show Sir! (Average: 5.14 out of 10)
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Jul 04

A dragon phallic train? No way am I... 'boarding'... that!Click for full image

Scott Comments: Cat People always make a great cover, but a steam-dragon-train, that’s something else!
Published 1993

Actually, that cover IS a classical work of art!I would touch it without protective gloves.I've seen worse. Far, far, worse.Interesting, but I would still read it in public.Middlng: Neither awful nor awfully goodWould not like to be seen reading that!Awful... just awful...That belongs in a gold-lame picture frame!Gah... my eyes are burning! Feels so good!Good Show Sir! (Average: 7.67 out of 10)
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Jun 22

Ok dance team... this is our time to shine!Click for full image

MisterBOB’s Art Direction: One hot chick with boobs on show and her two angry brothers.
Published 1987

Actually, that cover IS a classical work of art!I would touch it without protective gloves.I've seen worse. Far, far, worse.Interesting, but I would still read it in public.Middlng: Neither awful nor awfully goodWould not like to be seen reading that!Awful... just awful...That belongs in a gold-lame picture frame!Gah... my eyes are burning! Feels so good!Good Show Sir! (Average: 7.06 out of 10)
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Jun 11

I like how the sword looks like a continuation of his tie! Today I am proud of myself.Click for full UN-LEWIS’ED image!

Frank Comments: I’ll bet there were Others ready to help grab those!
Published 1979

Actually, that cover IS a classical work of art!I would touch it without protective gloves.I've seen worse. Far, far, worse.Interesting, but I would still read it in public.Middlng: Neither awful nor awfully goodWould not like to be seen reading that!Awful... just awful...That belongs in a gold-lame picture frame!Gah... my eyes are burning! Feels so good!Good Show Sir! (Average: 7.91 out of 10)
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Jun 07

A novel!! I thought I was buying a DVD!!!Click for full image

Tom Noir Comments: After Charlie overheard Bob and Martha talking about ‘swinging’ together he knew that he must learn more.
Published 2006

Actually, that cover IS a classical work of art!I would touch it without protective gloves.I've seen worse. Far, far, worse.Interesting, but I would still read it in public.Middlng: Neither awful nor awfully goodWould not like to be seen reading that!Awful... just awful...That belongs in a gold-lame picture frame!Gah... my eyes are burning! Feels so good!Good Show Sir! (Average: 6.51 out of 10)
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Jun 01

Another bank holiday approaches for those in the UK! And also something about celebrating some sort of zombie vampire’s diamond jubilee… so I hear. So we might be taking a break until Wednesday while we sharpen our stakes and resurrect Peter Cushing to stop the foul beast!

So for our honourable mentions we have a collection of books about J. R. R. Tolkien and one about C. S. Lewis. These are simply fantastic and have all been sent in by Missie Kay so a big thanks to her!

Enjoy the covers and if you are benefiting from a long weekend, like me, I hope you enjoy it!

This is why they banned smoking in Bars & Pubs!Click for full image

Missie Comments: That’s not what “high fantasy” means, guys.

Just wait till you see where I keep Boromir!Click for slightly large image

Missie Comments: Not a very clear photo, sorry, but Gandalf and Gollum are on his shoulder, and there’s hobbit in his vest pocket.

Well I broke my back to sit here... I am going to finish this story!Click for full image

Missie Comments: Just hangin’ with some orcs.

Oh please... talk to the hand Troll... Talk to the hand!Click for full image

Missie Comments: Gollum clearly finds J.R.R. more frightening than the giant cave troll staring at him. (back cover of the previous book)

I believe Lewis should step in for Space Sheep at some stage!!!Click for full image

Missie Comments: Bonus cover! C.S. Lewis looks a bit shocked that there’s a naked lady behind him.

Actually, that cover IS a classical work of art!I would touch it without protective gloves.I've seen worse. Far, far, worse.Interesting, but I would still read it in public.Middlng: Neither awful nor awfully goodWould not like to be seen reading that!Awful... just awful...That belongs in a gold-lame picture frame!Gah... my eyes are burning! Feels so good!Good Show Sir! (Average: 7.61 out of 10)
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May 11

Quickly! I've forgotten my trousers and all I have to cover myself is your Mum's curtain!Click for full image

GK Comments: When I saw this at the book store all I could say was, “Good Show, Sir!”
Published 1999

Actually, that cover IS a classical work of art!I would touch it without protective gloves.I've seen worse. Far, far, worse.Interesting, but I would still read it in public.Middlng: Neither awful nor awfully goodWould not like to be seen reading that!Awful... just awful...That belongs in a gold-lame picture frame!Gah... my eyes are burning! Feels so good!Good Show Sir! (Average: 8.75 out of 10)
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Apr 30

Cover Drinking Game No.1: Take a drink every time you see a cover with a women looking backwards showing off her bum. Guaranteed death!Click for full image

Rachel J Comments: No, my tagline is not stolen, and yes, my hair does have a life of its own. Now excuse me while I attack forty lens flares, a doorway, a glowing mist and a block of high-rise flats with my trusty katana.
Published 2011

Actually, that cover IS a classical work of art!I would touch it without protective gloves.I've seen worse. Far, far, worse.Interesting, but I would still read it in public.Middlng: Neither awful nor awfully goodWould not like to be seen reading that!Awful... just awful...That belongs in a gold-lame picture frame!Gah... my eyes are burning! Feels so good!Good Show Sir! (Average: 5.49 out of 10)
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