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Aug 10

They were the best interpretive dance group in the galaxy.Click for full image

Tom Noir Comments: And the Hugo Award for Sweatiest Book Cover goes to…
Published 1995

Actually, that cover IS a classical work of art!I would touch it without protective gloves.I've seen worse. Far, far, worse.Interesting, but I would still read it in public.Middlng: Neither awful nor awfully goodWould not like to be seen reading that!Awful... just awful...That belongs in a gold-lame picture frame!Gah... my eyes are burning! Feels so good!Good Show Sir! (Average: 8.28 out of 10)
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Jul 22

I'll distract him with my abs! You shoot!Click for full image

Bibliomancer Comments: Don’t bring a squirt gun to a sword fight.
Published 1981

Actually, that cover IS a classical work of art!I would touch it without protective gloves.I've seen worse. Far, far, worse.Interesting, but I would still read it in public.Middlng: Neither awful nor awfully goodWould not like to be seen reading that!Awful... just awful...That belongs in a gold-lame picture frame!Gah... my eyes are burning! Feels so good!Good Show Sir! (Average: 4.05 out of 10)
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Jul 17

Look out Eric! She's after our cave exploring shorts!Click for full image

Dead Stuff with Big Teeth’s Art Direction: On our cover, we won’t show ANYTHING. But legs. Lots of legs. We got a volume discount on legs.
Published 1981

Actually, that cover IS a classical work of art!I would touch it without protective gloves.I've seen worse. Far, far, worse.Interesting, but I would still read it in public.Middlng: Neither awful nor awfully goodWould not like to be seen reading that!Awful... just awful...That belongs in a gold-lame picture frame!Gah... my eyes are burning! Feels so good!Good Show Sir! (Average: 7.47 out of 10)
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Jul 01

That crow is CUT!Click for full image

Tom Noir Comments: Good evening London! We are WAR THONG! Are you ready to raaaaaaaawk??
Published 1979

Actually, that cover IS a classical work of art!I would touch it without protective gloves.I've seen worse. Far, far, worse.Interesting, but I would still read it in public.Middlng: Neither awful nor awfully goodWould not like to be seen reading that!Awful... just awful...That belongs in a gold-lame picture frame!Gah... my eyes are burning! Feels so good!Good Show Sir! (Average: 7.88 out of 10)
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Jun 29

STOP STOP ALREADY... they're already dead!!!Click for full image

Peter T Comments: Not sure how you wear your pants with a tail sticking out…. or how he killed all those creatures with such an erratic gun…. Girl looks nice though….
Published 1984

Actually, that cover IS a classical work of art!I would touch it without protective gloves.I've seen worse. Far, far, worse.Interesting, but I would still read it in public.Middlng: Neither awful nor awfully goodWould not like to be seen reading that!Awful... just awful...That belongs in a gold-lame picture frame!Gah... my eyes are burning! Feels so good!Good Show Sir! (Average: 7.30 out of 10)
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Jun 11

No it's by MY SELF not Will Self... I bet he hears that one everyday of his life... sorry.Click for full image

Tom Noir Comments: I guess this cover is a fairly realistic depiction of cybersex. I mean, he IS only using one hand…
Published 1996

Actually, that cover IS a classical work of art!I would touch it without protective gloves.I've seen worse. Far, far, worse.Interesting, but I would still read it in public.Middlng: Neither awful nor awfully goodWould not like to be seen reading that!Awful... just awful...That belongs in a gold-lame picture frame!Gah... my eyes are burning! Feels so good!Good Show Sir! (Average: 8.91 out of 10)
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Jun 04

Your breath is bad... how about some SPEARMINT! Click for full image

Tat Wood Comments: Quick, Antoninus, bring the marshmallows!
Published 1958

Actually, that cover IS a classical work of art!I would touch it without protective gloves.I've seen worse. Far, far, worse.Interesting, but I would still read it in public.Middlng: Neither awful nor awfully goodWould not like to be seen reading that!Awful... just awful...That belongs in a gold-lame picture frame!Gah... my eyes are burning! Feels so good!Good Show Sir! (Average: 6.83 out of 10)
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May 26

Keith! Get that damn lion-bat back in the frame!Click for full image

Tom Noir Comments: Strategically placed bat lion shields our eyes from his, uh, silver bells.
Published 1977

Actually, that cover IS a classical work of art!I would touch it without protective gloves.I've seen worse. Far, far, worse.Interesting, but I would still read it in public.Middlng: Neither awful nor awfully goodWould not like to be seen reading that!Awful... just awful...That belongs in a gold-lame picture frame!Gah... my eyes are burning! Feels so good!Good Show Sir! (Average: 7.95 out of 10)
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Apr 30

That was close! Good job we wore loincloths today!Click for full UNSHEEPED image

Jun Comments: Octopus + scantily dressed woman + Conan lookalike = classic fantasy cover.
Published 1976

Actually, that cover IS a classical work of art!I would touch it without protective gloves.I've seen worse. Far, far, worse.Interesting, but I would still read it in public.Middlng: Neither awful nor awfully goodWould not like to be seen reading that!Awful... just awful...That belongs in a gold-lame picture frame!Gah... my eyes are burning! Feels so good!Good Show Sir! (Average: 4.17 out of 10)
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Apr 20

Ah, the muscle naked dude rainbow hat... good choice sir! Good choice!Click for full image

Cyril Comments: A rainbow round my — hat?
Published 1968

Actually, that cover IS a classical work of art!I would touch it without protective gloves.I've seen worse. Far, far, worse.Interesting, but I would still read it in public.Middlng: Neither awful nor awfully goodWould not like to be seen reading that!Awful... just awful...That belongs in a gold-lame picture frame!Gah... my eyes are burning! Feels so good!Good Show Sir! (Average: 8.12 out of 10)
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