preload
Nov 09

Put your sword away... this looks like a creature we can work things out with.Click for full image

Tom Noir Comments:  “I now pronounce you ThighMaster representative and wife!”
Published 1992

Actually, that cover IS a classical work of art!I would touch it without protective gloves.I've seen worse. Far, far, worse.Interesting, but I would still read it in public.Middlng: Neither awful nor awfully goodWould not like to be seen reading that!Awful... just awful...That belongs in a gold-lame picture frame!Gah... my eyes are burning! Feels so good!Good Show Sir! (Average: 6.26 out of 10)
Loading...

Tagged with:

Oct 26

He goes for the DUNK! AND HE SCORES! Click for very slightly larger image

Hammy Comments: I’m not sure how he’s wearing that in outer space…or holding onto a planet, for that matter. But who cares, MUSCLES!
Published 1987

Actually, that cover IS a classical work of art!I would touch it without protective gloves.I've seen worse. Far, far, worse.Interesting, but I would still read it in public.Middlng: Neither awful nor awfully goodWould not like to be seen reading that!Awful... just awful...That belongs in a gold-lame picture frame!Gah... my eyes are burning! Feels so good!Good Show Sir! (Average: 7.92 out of 10)
Loading...

Tagged with:

Aug 28

Ewwww... just look at them. I don't even know why you invite them over for dinner in the first place.Click for full image

Scott B Comments: Creepy eyeballs! (Also, broccoli hair.)
Published 1983

Actually, that cover IS a classical work of art!I would touch it without protective gloves.I've seen worse. Far, far, worse.Interesting, but I would still read it in public.Middlng: Neither awful nor awfully goodWould not like to be seen reading that!Awful... just awful...That belongs in a gold-lame picture frame!Gah... my eyes are burning! Feels so good!Good Show Sir! (Average: 8.84 out of 10)
Loading...

Tagged with:

Aug 21

Has she stopped looking? I really need to stop sucking in this gut. Click for full image

Tom Noir’s Art Direction: I want a sexy space princess trying hard not to ogle a slab of beefcake. Have her cleaning out her earwax or something.
Published 2000

Actually, that cover IS a classical work of art!I would touch it without protective gloves.I've seen worse. Far, far, worse.Interesting, but I would still read it in public.Middlng: Neither awful nor awfully goodWould not like to be seen reading that!Awful... just awful...That belongs in a gold-lame picture frame!Gah... my eyes are burning! Feels so good!Good Show Sir! (Average: 7.35 out of 10)
Loading...

Tagged with:

Aug 10

They were the best interpretive dance group in the galaxy.Click for full image

Tom Noir Comments: And the Hugo Award for Sweatiest Book Cover goes to…
Published 1995

Actually, that cover IS a classical work of art!I would touch it without protective gloves.I've seen worse. Far, far, worse.Interesting, but I would still read it in public.Middlng: Neither awful nor awfully goodWould not like to be seen reading that!Awful... just awful...That belongs in a gold-lame picture frame!Gah... my eyes are burning! Feels so good!Good Show Sir! (Average: 8.28 out of 10)
Loading...

Tagged with:

Jul 22

I'll distract him with my abs! You shoot!Click for full image

Bibliomancer Comments: Don’t bring a squirt gun to a sword fight.
Published 1981

Actually, that cover IS a classical work of art!I would touch it without protective gloves.I've seen worse. Far, far, worse.Interesting, but I would still read it in public.Middlng: Neither awful nor awfully goodWould not like to be seen reading that!Awful... just awful...That belongs in a gold-lame picture frame!Gah... my eyes are burning! Feels so good!Good Show Sir! (Average: 4.05 out of 10)
Loading...

Tagged with:

Jul 17

Look out Eric! She's after our cave exploring shorts!Click for full image

Dead Stuff with Big Teeth’s Art Direction: On our cover, we won’t show ANYTHING. But legs. Lots of legs. We got a volume discount on legs.
Published 1981

Actually, that cover IS a classical work of art!I would touch it without protective gloves.I've seen worse. Far, far, worse.Interesting, but I would still read it in public.Middlng: Neither awful nor awfully goodWould not like to be seen reading that!Awful... just awful...That belongs in a gold-lame picture frame!Gah... my eyes are burning! Feels so good!Good Show Sir! (Average: 7.47 out of 10)
Loading...

Tagged with:

Jul 01

That crow is CUT!Click for full image

Tom Noir Comments: Good evening London! We are WAR THONG! Are you ready to raaaaaaaawk??
Published 1979

Actually, that cover IS a classical work of art!I would touch it without protective gloves.I've seen worse. Far, far, worse.Interesting, but I would still read it in public.Middlng: Neither awful nor awfully goodWould not like to be seen reading that!Awful... just awful...That belongs in a gold-lame picture frame!Gah... my eyes are burning! Feels so good!Good Show Sir! (Average: 7.88 out of 10)
Loading...

Tagged with:

Jun 29

STOP STOP ALREADY... they're already dead!!!Click for full image

Peter T Comments: Not sure how you wear your pants with a tail sticking out…. or how he killed all those creatures with such an erratic gun…. Girl looks nice though….
Published 1984

Actually, that cover IS a classical work of art!I would touch it without protective gloves.I've seen worse. Far, far, worse.Interesting, but I would still read it in public.Middlng: Neither awful nor awfully goodWould not like to be seen reading that!Awful... just awful...That belongs in a gold-lame picture frame!Gah... my eyes are burning! Feels so good!Good Show Sir! (Average: 7.30 out of 10)
Loading...

Tagged with:

Jun 11

No it's by MY SELF not Will Self... I bet he hears that one everyday of his life... sorry.Click for full image

Tom Noir Comments: I guess this cover is a fairly realistic depiction of cybersex. I mean, he IS only using one hand…
Published 1996

Actually, that cover IS a classical work of art!I would touch it without protective gloves.I've seen worse. Far, far, worse.Interesting, but I would still read it in public.Middlng: Neither awful nor awfully goodWould not like to be seen reading that!Awful... just awful...That belongs in a gold-lame picture frame!Gah... my eyes are burning! Feels so good!Good Show Sir! (Average: 8.91 out of 10)
Loading...

Tagged with: