Good Show Sir

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You know what people are into these days… dressing up like strange animal creatures. So put a couple of people talking to some weird bunny person.. just like the convention we were at last week! Except less of the, you know, horrible single 45 year old men looking for sex. Take away from that with a huge space ship in the sky with the author’s name printed in horrible fonts.

(Average: 8.35 out of 10)

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I’m really not sure about what I want… So how about some weird horse-camel type creatures, something that would make The Great Lucas proud! Don’t forget to add a terrible landscape, an awful off planet sunset, and some people pointing a huge antenna to the sky.

(Average: 4.66 out of 10)

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We’ve both been talking this over and really there is one thing we need on our cover. A horrific font! Have it big, bold, blocky and have the ‘fought’ look like someone has tried to adjust the colour balance in photoshop and then forgot about it. For the rest, just have some women crawling out of the air vent shooting an android. But seriously, who cares about the artwork these days.

(Average: 6.58 out of 10)

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Well I want a red headed women talking to a camp looking dragon while she shows a bit of leg. Andre.. stop laughing! It’s not like your covers are any better! Jeeeezz… Ah F it.. just put a well built guy laughing his ass off in the background. That can be you Andre…you knob.

(Average: 6.02 out of 10)

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As a women I know that there are two main things we love about men. Long hair with hunky muscles being one of them, *drool*, and the ability to fire a light weight fast action submachine gun at any given point. What’s that you say – this book’s in the Fantasy genre? Oh yeah, forgot that element… uhhh ok then, lens flare the gun and put some transparent eyes in the sky. Now that’s what I call Fantasy Romance!

(Average: 7.91 out of 10)

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Some artists define a generation: Picasso, Michelangelo, Paul Klee… I want you to be inspired by their works and create something for me. Think of these things: hookers, cats, bats, stereotype vampires, a real man with long cheesy hair holding his long sword. And to make it art, we place them all…. between worlds! Together, my friend, we will define the next generation!

(Average: 7.45 out of 10)

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Two words for you…. pirates vs kinky police officers. Well you know what I mean! Have the officers in long knee highs and holding a large batons. Have a large magic beam hitting a stereotypical pirate in the chest and him grimacing in pain. It’s almost too perfect.

(Average: 6.28 out of 10)

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Imagine this, you are a female knight… awww come on, I said imagine… and you have come into the future only to find… wait for it.. space ships! And a futuristic station! This cover will be one of the greatest comparisons of public transport ever! Oh, don’t forget the transparent eyes in the sky too.

(Average: 5.68 out of 10)

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You know the two things I love: big bosomed women and lizards. Have them woven in an epic battle, lizard versus women as she tries to slice at it with her magical blade. Don’t go all crazy on me though, concentrate on the boobs.

(Average: 5.98 out of 10)

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I’m telling you, Romance + Generic Fantasy Elements = MONEY! Ahh, who cares about the cover, just put a big hunky man showing off his chest muscles and flexed abs. We’ll call him the dragon master… What do you mean “is his dragon purple”?

And we are back! Ohhhh YEAh!
– Good Show Sir

(Average: 8.42 out of 10)

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